29 April 2006

FAQ

The stream of the exciting search strings continues unabated. So here comes new installment of the FAQs.

Q: What is popular in Israel?

A: The usual stuff: usurping the world, some genocide on the side, warmongering, praying...

Q: Male chauvinism?

A: Asked SWMBO: she says that's not in fashion and I better say the truth. Or else.

Q: How do jews feel about plastic surgery?

A: The Elders' elite troops get a sizable (he he) benefit from it, see here. So of course we are pro-surgery.

Q: Snoopy sex?

A: No thanks, not right now.

Q: Peoples front liberation Judea?

A: A group of ineffectual, narcissistic and rather stupid do-gooders. We, in the Judean People Liberation Front are the real thing. Promise.

Q: Instinct + Beckham?

A: Yes, he was one of our androids. But due to some wiring errors it was decided to write him off and to sell him to a football club. You know the rest.

Q: Naked jews?

A: No, we are not that way.

Q: Erection suppressant?

A: Young we are definitely not, this is why we are called "The Elders". So thanks, but we think not.

Q: What does "too low cholesterol "mean?

A: Probably means that you are a vegan tree-hugger producing a lot of methane and destroying the ozone layer. Also that your IQ is very low due to said low cholesterol level. Have a good bloody steak, it may save you.

Q: Russian conspiracy birthmarks?

A: We have these. But the location and the form are rather embarrassing. Send us an e-mail.

Q: Zionist cloning?

A: Why, thanks, doing rather well. But we do not offer it commercially, this is only for the Chosen Ones.

Q: Low calorie Passover breakfast?

A: The mere thought is as anti-Semitic as anything the most rabid... Nah, just shut up.

Q: What it looks like?

A: Not in a public forum, please. You know the e-mail, apply there.

Q: What is "the graun"?

A: We are warning you that following our answer will make you into a most miserable, psychotic and hateful creature in no time. Now that you are warned, look here.

Q: Zionist crime us government?

A: Guilty as charged.

Q: Things you should know about Judaism?

A: Shouldn't be taken on an empty stomach. Otherwise - you might be better without it.

Q: Veyz mir meaning Yiddish?

A: Your daughter tells you that she is pregnant and the expecting father is a Jamaican drug dealer. This more or less describes the circumstances appropriate for the use of "Veyz mir".

A: Mormons and fagots 2006?

Q: We have unbound sympathy for both parties, but are not involved directly. Only on the fringes.

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